You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i barfeds in our rink
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
