He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
