that's an acceptable place to lick
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
