I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
