He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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