On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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