Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
