I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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