I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
