Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
