Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
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I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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