A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
