Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
