it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
