my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
