we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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