so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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