these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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