the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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