While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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