It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
