My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
this boner is exhausting
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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