it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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