I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize