I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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