Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize