I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
