meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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