You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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