I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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