I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
