Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
