I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
