Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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