I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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