We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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