note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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