what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We had sex on a dog bed..
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
