I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
