do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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