For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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