I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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