Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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