My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
