I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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