I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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