Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize