apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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