no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
