i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize