one might say we're banned from that church
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
