____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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