wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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