Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
