I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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