let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize