Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
