better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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