I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize