nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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