Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
