Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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