puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
