I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
