it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
