They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
