Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
