Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
