So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
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Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
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Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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